GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
PG-13
95 Minutes
Directors:Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Writers:Scott M. Gimple (screenplay), Seth Hoffman (screenplay)
Nicolas Cage, Ciarán Hinds, Idris Elba, Violante Placido, Fergus Riordan
"I have some personal issues I kinda like to get fixed."
-Nick Cage as 'Johnny Blaze'
I heard Rob Schneider went up to Cage at a party and he said 'how 'bout we take it easy on the crappy movies, unless you want to put me in one of them'.
What options do you have if your last name is Blaze? It's like someone named Frank: inevitably, he becomes 'Frank the Tank', developing a serious alcohol problem in college.
The first film set the bar on the ground; with this one, it's like someone tripped on their shoelaces before being able to cross it. Fans of the Ghost Writer franchise (yes, all 3 of them), will be thoroughly disappointed with this latest installment.
But how could it be any worse than the first?
Johnny Blaze is at it again...in Europe. Euro-trash criminals want to abduct a single mother and her son. These 'bad guys' know his vulnerabilities: which are elephant guns, heat seeking missiles, and movie critics.
Right now, all sequels seem to take place in Europe or Asia, but never anywhere in North America. The movie starts out in 'Eastern Europe'. They assume the people watching won't actually know where Romania is.
There are many convoluted plot twists like to those Transporter movies. We see an assortment of borrowed plot points from NATIONAL TREASURE (2004), and THE DIVINCI CODE (2006).
No, Eva Mendes isn't in this one; but don't worry they give you some eye candy. Like in TRANSFORMERS, they replaced Megan Fox, so Shia LaBeouf would have someone new to sleep with.
Nadya (Placido) has a history of doing some naughty things. She wants to put the con artistry behind her, and find a better life for her son, Danny (Riordan). Danny's father is Satan, at least I think so. Let's not get caught up on details, you've seen LITTLE NICKY.
Here's Johnny!
I didn't think Cage had the capacity to be this crazy. Yes, he’s even crazier than Gary Busey in real life. Call me a heretic, if you will, but the evidence speaks for itself.
Strangely, Nicholas Cage seems very much attached to this character. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw GHOST RIDER: PART TROIS.
The theological
parts seem to get in the way of the movie. You find yourself bored for most of the movie. This movie isn't mindless enough. I think I caught some vague references to PARADISE LOST: the epic poem, by John Milton.
Most movies target 14-year-old boys—strung out on Mountain Dew. The 14-year olds are the real victims here. It’s almost as though film's creator is trying to disappoint the greatest number audience members. Job well Dunn.
Final Verdict: 20 out of 100. Wait, I meant 20 out of 1000. Reduced it down, that comes out to: 2 out of 100.
