A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD
97 Minutes
R
Director: John Moore
Writers: Skip Woods, Roderick Thorp
Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch
Cast
Bruce Willis–John McClane
Jai Courtney–Jack McClane
Sebastian Koch–Komarov
Mary Elizabeth Winstead–Lucy
Yuliya Snigir–Irina
‘Code red, code red.’
-Bruce Willis, THE SIEGE (1998)
(Insert Yaknov Smirnov Joke Here)
Take Your Kid To Work Day: The Movie…To The Extreme
All aboard! The 80s-Action-Movie-Express-Train blew passed the station, and shows no sign of slowing down. It’s about to jump the rails, hit the napalm factory, and plow right into the orphanage, the one adjacent to the factory.
After RAMBO and THE EXPENDABLES films, I’m no longer nostalgic for the action stars of yesteryear. The irony, it’s gone. The next time I see Chuck Norris, it better be in an AARP commercial.
If you were wondering, ‘Die Hard’ is a reference to the battery; it’s not about the erection men get after becoming deceased.
John McClane goes to Moscow to give the Cold War a real ending. He thinks his son, Jack, has P-OD-ED on some top-notch pharmaceuticals. But really, Jack is a CIA spy. And so, there you have it, father and son, fighting Russian gangsters. John worked too much when Jack was growing up. But worry not, they’ll patch things up quickly; you only need a couple of hours to undo 30 years of resentment.
Here’s where it gets interesting… Just kidding, it never gets interesting.
After the first half hour, you lose all hope of seeing a good movie. From there, they don’t even bother giving us one decent scene.
The last DIE HARD had some problems, but it was still watchable. This latest DIE HARD can only be described as a violent, action-packed clusterfuck.
Bruce Willis just memorized a bunch of one-liners. Like, ‘I’m here, where’s my God-Damn paycheck?’
Willis has a serious case of ‘Tim Allen Syndrome’; where he’s gotten a little too comfortable with one particular role, like ‘Santa Claus’, or ‘John McClane’.
DIE HARD is not without positive attributes. What I liked most, the film’s brevity. It isn’t overly long, and that’s not so bad. Also, I love the part where John crashes through the window of an office building, and the other scene where he crashed through a window. That was cool.
Several times, John McClane mentions that he’s on vacation. And I say yes, he most certainly was.
I’m too young for this shit.
Final Verdict: 56 out of 100
